An Open Letter to My Son

I wrote this to Brandon as he was preparing to leave for college a few years ago. He is a senior this year. I had completely forgotten about it and as I was working today, I stumbled upon it. It is remarkable to me that this occurred because I had been having one of those days that we sometimes have when we are not completely centered. I offer it, as always, as a reminder for me and me alone. If you glean anything from it, I am blessed by that. Peace. -- jb
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Dear Brandon,

Somewhere it is written that the father is to give some final words of advice before sending the son off to college. I originally wrote this letter to you one day last week. It just poured out onto the paper. I have since read it about 10 times and I must confess that it looks like I wrote it to myself as much as I wrote it to you.

I wish I had known when I was your age what you will read below. I did not and that is ok.

At any rate, I want you to not read this until you are in a place physically and mentally where you have time to sit and think about the words. It’s ok to put this down and read it later. If you decide to go ahead though, just know that this is from my heart... here goes.

As I have told you many times, you somehow broke out of the generational trends that have existed for as long as there have been Bakers. I know I have said this to you a lot more in recent months and that is because you have also shown signs of being farther along in a spiritual sense than I had noticed before. I’m not talking about religion or church attendance. You have started a new thing that will serve you and all mankind, and will carry our name into the future.

It is important that you recognize this.

All your life I have had the honor of watching you -- I have blessed you, prayed for you and cried for you. I have memories that hurt because for whatever reason, I was unable to protect you from something that hurt you. All the while, I was being taught the role of "father." Those old memories have begun to fade as I now have the opportunity to watch you make your newest memories. I am comforted knowing that you make good choices and I like what I see in you very much.

Brandon, you were born with a "knowing" that is very special. You have a certain wisdom that transcends you and is far above the earthly kind of wisdom. What I am talking about is much deeper than what I had come to understand wisdom to be. It seems to come from a place I am only now beginning to understand -- a place of collective knowing that has always existed through all the ages. I can’t explain it, and, yes, it is included in the "talk" I’m going to have with you very soon.

I now know that true wisdom cannot be taught like I may teach a class or something... no, it comes from experience. We all have experiences and we sometimes learn from them and sometimes we do not. I am talking about something that seems to come from deep within us – from a place that was created by God and put there for a purpose. Think about this... it is worth considering how you will use this wisdom to help mankind as you discover why you are here.

You may not yet know what your purpose is. You may be in the early stages of discovering it or you may not really care right now. Either way, I’d like to offer some insights that I have learned from my own experiences. These insights have come from painful places many times and I’d like to see you avoid such delays in finding your complete self. Reading these may help you define your purpose.

Remember that Love outshines and will outlast everything else in all of creation. Whatever you think about, ask yourself is this from Love? For you see, thought is the creation of word and deed. It preexists all action and has the power to either hurt or to heal. Think about Love... pray, shout, sing and dream about Love. It is really that important. Do this and you will see your purpose for this lifetime as clearly as you can see on a crystal-clear blue morning.

Second, listen to your heart. Trust what you hear and test it against the standards you have been taught. Don’t go with the crowd unless the crowd has convinced you that its purpose matches or enhances your own. Never, ever compromise unless in so doing, you further the cause of Love. Remember the words of Jesus -- "Love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself." Treat everyone and everything -- family, friends, strangers, animals, plants, all of creation with respect and honor. If you do this, the Universe will reward you with the abundant life that is already yours... even if you cannot yet see it.

Be slow to speak and don’t speak at all unless it lifts up the person you are talking to or about.

Listen to what people are saying. Really listen on purpose, and you will gain a better understanding of where they are coming from. Remember that everyone has experiences, and those experiences helped to shape them into the person that they are. You may not agree with them and that is ok -- just don’t judge them. Everyone is equal in God’s eyes and they should also be equal in our eyes -- no one is any better than anyone else.

Even if you are in a disagreement with someone or even if they have hurt you, put yourself in their shoes and try to forgive them. Show patience and give grace. I assure you that all of heaven will stop and take notice that you actually put Christ’s teachings into practice.

Help an old person; smile at a stranger; bless the children you meet; be vulnerable -- now I didn’t say be weak. There is a difference. If you open your heart, you may get hurt, Jesus did, but you will grow and expand in ways that will make you a better person. Be humble. Thank God always and at all times with a truly grateful heart. You have much to be thankful for.

Be yourself. Don’t be something that is false and never be arrogant or mean. You know how to treat people, so remember that as your world begins to open up before you. You are going to meet lots of different kinds of people, and although you are a natural leader, college life will present you with a new set of challenges.

Son, you are the apple of my eye and such a powerful source of joy for me that even as I fumble to write these words my heart feels like it will burst. It is not easy to express these types of feelings because they are so very real and so deep.

I have never tried to influence you to be anyone other than Brandon. I believe it is an error for a father to put such pressure on their son. What you are today is certainly the answer to millions of prayers, but I especially want you to know that you are the fulfillment of all my hopes and dreams, and I am always here for you. You will never be so far away that I would not move heaven and earth to come to your aid.

Receive, once more, the blessing of your earthly father with complete assurance that I merely reflect the love of your eternal and perfect Father. It is because he loves me so much that he has allowed me to serve you in this way at this time. I am forever grateful.

May the sun be always on your beautiful face, with the wind of Love at your back. As you follow your dreams, may the road rise up to meet you and carry you to the greatest heights of completion. You deserve nothing less.

I love you.

Dad

Dark Night of the Soul

The phrase brings haunting imagery to mind, but it doesn't have to. It is so very descriptive of how many of my friends are experiencing life right now, but it has Hope as its intended result.

I have been noticing the intensity of the dark times for several years now and it would seem that they are not only inevitable, they are an indication of something Good and True emerging.

Hope.

Hope is the last thing some of us know about lately, but it remains nonetheless. We are all, each of us, hoping for something better for ourselves, and the Dark Night syndrome, although excruciating, is a clear sign that Light is in our immediate future. It is this absence from the Light that allows us time to refocus our eyes; to reevaluate our priorities; and to ultimately re-present ourselves to the world.

I have also noticed that these times are less frequent, but more powerful in their effects. This is encouraging for me as it tells me that I am learning to maneuver through the darkness more efficiently. I am more familiar with the Hope that springs forth in the aftermath, and that provides energy to endure.

My friends, these are strange and difficult days to be sure. At the same time, it is an unfolding of possibilities if we are aware of it. We are never alone in the darkness even though we sometimes forget under the weight of our circumstances and pain. And when we come out on the other side into the Light, we realize that we were never, ever left alone.

I am never alone.

Choose for yourself this day to see your situation as hopeful. It may not truly be at this moment, but it will be. You and I can rest in the peace of that certainty. Inner peace will be our experience sooner than later when we see our path for what it is:

A journey of reacquainting ourselves with the Source of Life.

God is real. Love is the proof. And Dark Nights are lovingly designed to propel us out of fear and into Peace.

I love you. -- jb

Family Ties and Fine Porcelain

For many of us there comes a time when our friends scatter, and there is that inescapable feeling of abandonment. We sometimes use the term fair-weather friend in reference to people like that, but whatever we chooses to call them, I don't believe most individuals intentionally mean to cause pain in doing this. So let's be honest; it just happens. And when it does, it is very comforting that our family is there to help replace the hurt with uplifting support and acceptance. When circumstances seems to turn against us, family ties undergird us with all we need to get back to joy:

Love.

It is true that not all of us have this kind of support when we need it most because we just don't have any family. While this situation does exist I believe that God provides alternatives. I have had the honor of being a surrogate family member, and it was one of the highest honors of my life. If you ever find yourself in any situation that provides you that privilege, take it. You being offered to that person, as a form of family, in love, by Love ItSelf is a beautiful thing.

Mr. Glynn

I have written about my dear friend Mr. Glynn Luckie Mosley who recently died. His wife Opal collected porcelain figurines, and he went to the ends of the earth in search of the ones she would ask him to find for her. One or two were exquisite and some weren't even very expensive. They just couldn't be shipped from where they originated.

He Went Anyway.

I observed many similar acts of devotion, and when she died he gracefully allowed me into his then very private and isolated world, and he stole my heart. I weep as I write remembering I got to say, see-ya-later to one of my best friends. When I was told he would not respond as the result of a coma he suddenly fell into from a simple stint procedure, I walked in the room and he began to try and talk to me. He reached for me... I got to hug him, and it was the last time I got to do that. He died the next morning.

What's Next?

My friends, it is a different time we live in. People are moving in and out of each other's lives at record speeds. Some say it's another sign of change. What I know is that for every friend that leaves you, there is another waiting to enter your life and take you to the next level. If you're really lucky this new friend may turn out to be the one you've been looking for your whole life.

Ponder It. Things Change.

So when change enters your life, make the effort to greet it like an old friend. Don't resist; that just creates repetition of circumstances. Instead receive it like a gift, maybe a fine porcelain figurine. Exquisite in craftsmanship, breathtaking to behold as the hands that created it must have surely known that it was to be this way :)

God bless those without family ties, as well as those friends who stand and remain no matter what may come. And God bless us all as we continue on in our journey of discovery. Don't fight the things you can't control. Just roll with it Baby. Rest in the beingness of it all, and quit trying to do so much. Do what you can, but let the rest go. There is freedom in that. I love you!

Peace for your weekend, spend it with your family and friends. And may you always have Love in your life. Love is real.

jb

Contrast is Calling

If it were not for contrast in our experiences, would we have the capability of recognizing just how good Life really is? This may seem a strange question at first glance. However, being confronted with change, which is simply contrast -- or opposites as others put it -- we are offered opportunities to consider things from a different perspective, and this equates to growth potential.

But Please Pay Attention!

Bloggers come from all walks of life, and I have been given a larger world view completely free of charge just by being open to what they write about. In the same way, being open to change lessens resistance to growth, and we find that we flow more naturally with the current of Life. I have found that it is much more enjoyable than swimming upstream! And the key is the awareness that change is not intended to hurt me.

Stop Fighting Change.

Allow. I did not say tolerate. Tolerance screams, "I still disapprove!" Allowing simply allows. No fighting. No judgement. In much the same way we are guided through this life by a benevolent Love, we can more easily maneuver the maze-like "obstacles" we sometimes face by just letting go of the desire to control.

Desire is good. Control is dangerous.

Would you rather win, or would you rather offer love? Do you prefer being right over being open? Do you even think about it?

Think. About. It.

Do something ridiculously kind for someone in need today. And do it for no other reason except to experience the contrast of otherwise pretending to be too busy to see them.

There is no them, and I love you! -- jb

Everywhere I Go, There I Am

Friends leave. Sometimes there is no other way. They may choose to leave for various reasons -- job change, death, or sometimes they just run away. Whatever the reason, whatever the purpose, what remains is always the same -- I.

I am.

I am, no matter what happens to my circumstances. Happiness is not found outside of me. If I rely on relationships (or anything else) to bolster my happiness factor, I am forgetting my right to choose. I know I talk about this a lot, but it is so worth repeating:

Happiness is a choice; not something you get.

I observe and I learn. I am learning the art of being me, and it as simple as a choice. All my life I've been searching. That's what I do. Today I am reminded me that I have discovered enough through the years to be, do, and have anything I choose. The Spirit which is in all things, and emits the Love that underpins all that exists is alive and well in me, and my happiness is found there.

Love.

Because of Love, I am able to love. I choose it knowing full well that It chose me first. I am. And everywhere I go, whether alone or with friends, there I will be found. And I am here. Right here, right now. I am a little more awake today, and the sun shone a little brighter today. It is this type of perspective on Life that guides me in the way that is best suited for me. I am a lucky man, and I know it. Thanks for reading :) and may peace fill your soul.

I love you. -- jb

Suffering in the Name of Love is Dumb

"There is much suffering in the world - very much. Material suffering is suffering from hunger, suffering from homelessness, from all kinds of disease, but I still think that the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, just having no one. I have come more and more to realize that it is being unwanted that it the worst disease that any human being can ever experience."
-- Mother Teresa

Now I'm not sure how much personal suffering one has to experience before they can say loneliness is the greatest suffering, but if you've been there I suppose there is no need for comparison. It seems there is much upheaval these days, and there is no shortage of perceived suffering on just about every horizon I can see. I received the above quote from an old and dear friend in reply to an earlier post here, and when I read it, I was struck by the thought that the suffering seems to be over. Thanks Mia.

At the same time, there is this knowing. You know?

You know how you just know, and then it is? I do. Hope lingers, even when ignored, and I just know that the dark days of perception tainted by pain are over... or quickly will be :) I can't explain the sudden turn in the air. Maybe the many sunrises I've participated in over the last months have left me with a promise forgotten, that all things are good if I say so. Things are only not that when I say, No.

Don't Just Say No

When I stand and block the gates of love, I am saying no. When I judge any-one including myself I am saying no. When I say no, I am saying I don't care what happens, I'm against it. Saying no to the extent that it causes another to suffer is not only unnecessary, it is unhealthy.

Think. About. It.

Love is the way to peace. Peace is the reason we offer love. Thinking about it is being responsible. Doing something in the name of love can change the world.

Peace -- jb

Love's Will Be Done

I often speak of love and things related, and while I am no stranger to it, Love is a mystery waiting to be unraveled. I allow music and the gift of the artist to assist me in that unraveling. In fact...

I am a music freak.

I find solace in knowing that there exists an artist who has the unmistakable gift of reading our hearts, and producing a work of art by which to prove it. Eddie K. of the band LIVE has a special way of expressing things. This song says so much, so well that I wanted to just share it.

I know one or two of you have already heard this song, but indulge a romantic and give it a listen just once more. This "official" video was done by a young man who entered a contest held by the LIVE fan club to actually create a visual for their fans who have raved over the lyrics. It is shot in Rotterdam, The Netherlands. The scenery is surreal, nearly perfect, and the words... well the words are haunting. Allow yourself to go with Eddie as he, once more, says it just so...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqrDozjICPs

I love you. -- jb