Is Love the source of our pain?
OR --
Are our past experiences the real bully?
All our lives we've heard the phrase, "Love hurts..." And all of our lives we have believed it. While it may feel like Love is the bully, that kind of thinking denies that God is Love, and that is in conflict with scripture. (1 John 4:1-21)
Please read all of the above-referenced scripture before proceeding.
John is specific: When we choose to believe that Jesus, the Christ, is all he claimed to be; when we choose to live in Love, forsaking everything; Love chooses to live in us. Yet all our lives we've accumulated our fair share of negative experiences that have helped to form our perspectives, our opinions, and our tolerance thresholds. All our lives we have allowed those illusions to blind us to how we come to believe what we come to believe. So instead of taking responsibility for our choices, then and now, all of our lives we have chosen to blame God for our circumstances.
That is a further denial of the truth of scripture.
Please read Galations 6:7-10, Job 4:17, and Psalm 36:5-9.
If we choose to believe we are loved by God, we lose the option of blaming him when we have a bad experience in love. That's a good thing. We are now in the ideal position to let Love off the hook and learn from the experience. God allows us to taste hurt to be sure. The truth is, however, he doesn't desire for us to swallow it.
Learning from heartache (it might be something worse than a breakup) gives us eyes to see others the way God sees them. We are then able to understand that we live in a hurting world. Those of us who call ourselves Christian have been provided the perfect template for avoiding further pain through the simple act of forgiveness, and we are expected to emulate it.
It is also not an option.
When we forgive, we deny darkness the opportunity to deceive us into thinking we've been wronged. Thus we avoid unnecessary pain. When we accomplish this, we see the perceived offense by another, not as hurting us, but as a cry for help.
Love cannot hurt us, and God is not against us.
Love is not designed to participate in pain except to serve as the cure. God would never allow himself to be called Love if there existed the remote possibility that He/It/Love could actually do anything to hurt us. However, he does understand that we blame him.
And to be sure, we do hurt. We hurt for various reasons, and pain in many forms and fashions is sometimes aimed at us by others. And even though we do sometimes hurt, remember this truth:
Love does NOT hurt :)
Beloved, we all want to be loved. It is only natural. So if you ever find yourself at the end of a relationship (or mean people are forcing themselves into your world), don't let Love go just because another person let you go, or another crashed into you. Instead, allow the God of Love to enfold you in his authentic embrace. Then (and this is the hard part) -- extend as best you can the same Love towards that person. Try it. Love works.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . . and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. -- Paul
LUVWRX (believe it)