Does Love Hurt?

Why do we feel hurt by Love?

Is Love the source of our pain?

OR --

Are our past experiences the real bully?

All our lives we've heard the phrase, "Love hurts..." And all of our lives we have believed it. While it may feel like Love is the bully, that kind of thinking denies that God is Love, and that is in conflict with scripture. (1 John 4:1-21)

Please read all of the above-referenced scripture before proceeding.

John is specific:  When we choose to believe that Jesus, the Christ, is all he claimed to be; when we choose to live in Love, forsaking everything; Love chooses to live in us. Yet all our lives we've accumulated our fair share of negative experiences that have helped to form our perspectives, our opinions, and our tolerance thresholds. All our lives we have allowed those illusions to blind us to how we come to believe what we come to believe. So instead of taking responsibility for our choices, then and now, all of our lives we have chosen to blame God for our circumstances.

That is a further denial of the truth of scripture.

Please read Galations 6:7-10, Job 4:17, and Psalm 36:5-9.

If we choose to believe we are loved by God, we lose the option of blaming him when we have a bad experience in love. That's a good thing. We are now in the ideal position to let Love off the hook and learn from the experience. God allows us to taste hurt to be sure. The truth is, however, he doesn't desire for us to swallow it.

Learning from heartache (it might be something worse than a breakup) gives us eyes to see others the way God sees them. We are then able to understand that we live in a hurting world. Those of us who call ourselves Christian have been provided the perfect template for avoiding further pain through the simple act of forgiveness, and we are expected to emulate it.

It is also not an option.

When we forgive, we deny darkness the opportunity to deceive us into thinking we've been wronged. Thus we avoid unnecessary pain. When we accomplish this, we see the perceived offense by another, not as hurting us, but as a cry for help.

Love cannot hurt us, and God is not against us.

Love is not designed to participate in pain except to serve as the cure. God would never allow himself to be called Love if there existed the remote possibility that He/It/Love could actually do anything to hurt us. However, he does understand that we blame him.

And to be sure, we do hurt. We hurt for various reasons, and pain in many forms and fashions is sometimes aimed at us by others. And even though we do sometimes hurt, remember this truth:

Love does NOT hurt :)

Beloved, we all want to be loved. It is only natural. So if you ever find yourself at the end of a relationship (or mean people are forcing themselves into your world), don't let Love go just because another person let you go, or another crashed into you. Instead, allow the God of Love to enfold you in his authentic embrace. Then (and this is the hard part) -- extend as best you can the same Love towards that person. Try it. Love works.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . . and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. -- Paul

LUVWRX (believe it)

The Gods Aren't Angry

God is not angry.

God is not capable of disliking you. Your God loves you, even if you don't believe it.

Even if you don't believe there is One.

That's the good news of the day.

It is reasonable to assume that there are individuals today whose minds are free to ponder things outside the box of religion, going straight to the heart of the matter. Our questions are valid. Rob Bell is a mind free in Christ. Below is a trailer for a talk he gave that is outside of the mainstream of religious propaganda. It is compelling:

The Gods Aren't Angry -- Rob Bell



I included an additional clip that only hints at the insightful way he gives us pause to dare question all we've been taught. I have viewed both of these films. They are not new. His church is Mars Hill Bible Church, located in Grand Rapids, MI. In response to critics of his teachings, Bell is quoted, "When people say that the authority of Scripture or the centrality of Jesus is in question, actually it's their social, economic and political system that has been built in the name of Jesus that's being threatened. Generally lurking below some of the more venomous, vitriolic criticism is somebody who's created a facade that's not working...But I love everybody and you're next!" he says, giggling. "That's how I respond to criticism." I like him a lot. I hope you do:

Everything is Spiritual -- Rob Bell



Oh yeah, the bad news of the day is that some who see these clips will be upset.

It truly is a sad day when an open mind is somehow meant to imply an empty one. The truth is, only an open mind is offered the potential to become like Christ's mind. It is his deepest desire that our minds be identical to his. Jesus Christ is a peace-loving non-conformist.

Don't be afraid to ask questions.

If you like the trailers,the films can be purchased here -- http://store.flannel.org/eis.html

There is no God of Wrath. The proof is in the bloodshot eyes of the one who, like Bort, can see God's Mystery, and has still found it possible to not ask questions. I asked my earthly daddy to teach me what he knew. He taught me love. I have asked God to teach me what he knows. He has taught me that Love can change everything.

God is love.

It is not a new thing. God never changes so that we can have the joy of experiencing Love that can never fail.

LUVWRX -- jb

When All Is Said And Done

I know that I am misunderstood by some readers. I also know that it is hopeless to attempt to explain myself through words -- written or spoken. I get grief for purposefully being open to others. The truth is, I am willing to accept anyone and everyone just as they are. I live my life as close as I possibly can to the example of Christ for the simple reason that he told us it is a good way to live. It is The Way. There are others who have gone before me that exude his goodness and his genuine love for All, and I try to follow their example too.

I am not into apologetics, yet I find myself actually bothered that some so-called Christians find fault with me because of my openness. Let's be frank: I am who I am. You are free to think of me as you wish. Just be honest: If you are saying ugly things about me, you don't know me.

I make mistakes every day. I am so far from perfect that I don't seek after it. I seek to be a peacemaker, and by my witness I hope to share with you what Christ means to me. If you are Buddhist, Muslim, Jew, or Pagan; I love you. I accept your beliefs. I accept your wisdom. I accept you. I want you to know the Christ that lifted me from my blind state of judgement, found me faultless, and dusted me off, patted me on the back and said, "Keep doing just what you're doing. I like the fact that you think enough of me to try and emulate My Way."

I sleep just fine at night with this way of thinking. I converse with him daily to ensure I am still on my path. Some of you Christians who read these words and assume I am something strange, or even worse, someone who is beneath you; I love you too.

I love you.

I have prayed that those of you with the most awful ideas about me, who spread lies and innuendo to any who will listen, will bump into me somewhere in public. I pray that we will lock eyes. I pray that you will not hate me -- even though you profess to be a follower of Christ, you know you hate me :) Yet, I sincerely want peace for you. You can't rob me of mine because my peace is beyond your ability to understand. Most days it is beyond my understanding too. I would give a body part to have a discussion about how we differ, if in fact we do.

When all is said and done and I stand before my Maker, I will know without doubt that I did the best I could to love, accept, embrace, and relate to All. It is not my place to judge anyone ever. I adhere to that just like Jesus said I should. I want to be understood, but I accept the fact that some people are intimidated by a person that can't condemn another to hellfire and eternal damnation just because they see things differently than I do.

Here's a visual for those of you that are cringing as you read this:

Imagine every living being alive today joined together, hand in hand, encircling God. Clearly we are only able to see God from where we are, yet we still see God. If my perspective is different as a result of where I am as I look, yet I love what I see and recognize through my understanding that it is God, how can I judge you and say you don't know God? Why would I take it further and believe that since you don't see him/her (God has no genitalia) the way I do, you're wrong? Did God tell you that?

Think. About. It.

Every time we unfairly decide for another person that our way is better than theirs without first considering their perspective, we spit on God's plan for the world he created. He never wanted us to hate another for any reason, yet we do it anyway. Remember:

There is no them.

There is no them except in your mind. That is not the Mind of Christ my friend, and you know it! If you've ever been one of them-- as I am to some of you -- you would never want to inflict such unfair judgement again. If Jesus is God, and even if you believe that God killed everyone that he didn't like (including pregnant women and children) in his wrath, did he just change his mind when he appeared on earth as the savior of the Jews? Why and how did Christ forgive his murderers while they were in the act of killing him? Is God unchanging yet he won't forgive anyone for their sins except when they are killing the kindest, most accepting person on earth? You tell me. You have all the answers; right? Your God of wrath is also just in your mind. God is Love. PERIOD! I like to think that I am a willing participant in what God is doing in his world. And loving All is part of it.

LUVWRX.

Try it out on those you H8 today, and see if you don't feel better about yourself.

Peace. -- jb

What I've Learned

I fly a lot but I had a chance to actually drive to my job today. It was a day like any other day except for the fact that, as I was driving, a post popped into my head. I guess being a frequent flyer frequently induces writer's block.

It occurred to me that my being a newly-created 47 year old provides me with nearly a half century of experience from which to glean wisdom... or the repetition of all-too-familiar "oops events." And while you and I have seen the dreaded e-mail forwards with all types of quips about how after such and such time you know this or that, I have no desire to plagiarize. I may be unconventional, but I am absolutely original. So...

Here's what I have learned; in my own words:

1. LOVE is the only thing that is real.
2. Life is not measured by the number of breaths I take. Just breathe.
3. Some people will only love me with conditions attached. Just love.
4. Once I decide that I have it all figured out, I have quit searching. Ouch!
5. I don't know a thing, and I'm good with that.
6. Music is a gift from the heart of an artist. I want to make some.
7. Love is the ONLY thing that is real.
8. Memories are not the past. They're happening now. Pay attention :)
9. Resentment can kill me. Love can heal me.
10. Mean people seem to be everywhere. I don't want to be one.
11. I am myself only to the extent that I know myself. I want to be real.
12. If I look for it, I will have the opportunity to help someone.
13. Love is the only thing that is REAL.
14. Laughter is as powerful as music. Make some.
15. The act of forgiveness should never be an act.
16. If I believe me, I will be as healthy as I say I am.
17. I am loved, and I am worth the effort it may take.
18. I am thankful for all my experiences. They make me who I am.
19. Christ forgave his murderers while they were in the act.
20. LOVE is the ONLY thing that is REAL.

Peace -- jb

An Open Letter to My Son

I wrote this to Brandon as he was preparing to leave for college a few years ago. He is a senior this year. I had completely forgotten about it and as I was working today, I stumbled upon it. It is remarkable to me that this occurred because I had been having one of those days that we sometimes have when we are not completely centered. I offer it, as always, as a reminder for me and me alone. If you glean anything from it, I am blessed by that. Peace. -- jb
________________

Dear Brandon,

Somewhere it is written that the father is to give some final words of advice before sending the son off to college. I originally wrote this letter to you one day last week. It just poured out onto the paper. I have since read it about 10 times and I must confess that it looks like I wrote it to myself as much as I wrote it to you.

I wish I had known when I was your age what you will read below. I did not and that is ok.

At any rate, I want you to not read this until you are in a place physically and mentally where you have time to sit and think about the words. It’s ok to put this down and read it later. If you decide to go ahead though, just know that this is from my heart... here goes.

As I have told you many times, you somehow broke out of the generational trends that have existed for as long as there have been Bakers. I know I have said this to you a lot more in recent months and that is because you have also shown signs of being farther along in a spiritual sense than I had noticed before. I’m not talking about religion or church attendance. You have started a new thing that will serve you and all mankind, and will carry our name into the future.

It is important that you recognize this.

All your life I have had the honor of watching you -- I have blessed you, prayed for you and cried for you. I have memories that hurt because for whatever reason, I was unable to protect you from something that hurt you. All the while, I was being taught the role of "father." Those old memories have begun to fade as I now have the opportunity to watch you make your newest memories. I am comforted knowing that you make good choices and I like what I see in you very much.

Brandon, you were born with a "knowing" that is very special. You have a certain wisdom that transcends you and is far above the earthly kind of wisdom. What I am talking about is much deeper than what I had come to understand wisdom to be. It seems to come from a place I am only now beginning to understand -- a place of collective knowing that has always existed through all the ages. I can’t explain it, and, yes, it is included in the "talk" I’m going to have with you very soon.

I now know that true wisdom cannot be taught like I may teach a class or something... no, it comes from experience. We all have experiences and we sometimes learn from them and sometimes we do not. I am talking about something that seems to come from deep within us – from a place that was created by God and put there for a purpose. Think about this... it is worth considering how you will use this wisdom to help mankind as you discover why you are here.

You may not yet know what your purpose is. You may be in the early stages of discovering it or you may not really care right now. Either way, I’d like to offer some insights that I have learned from my own experiences. These insights have come from painful places many times and I’d like to see you avoid such delays in finding your complete self. Reading these may help you define your purpose.

Remember that Love outshines and will outlast everything else in all of creation. Whatever you think about, ask yourself is this from Love? For you see, thought is the creation of word and deed. It preexists all action and has the power to either hurt or to heal. Think about Love... pray, shout, sing and dream about Love. It is really that important. Do this and you will see your purpose for this lifetime as clearly as you can see on a crystal-clear blue morning.

Second, listen to your heart. Trust what you hear and test it against the standards you have been taught. Don’t go with the crowd unless the crowd has convinced you that its purpose matches or enhances your own. Never, ever compromise unless in so doing, you further the cause of Love. Remember the words of Jesus -- "Love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself." Treat everyone and everything -- family, friends, strangers, animals, plants, all of creation with respect and honor. If you do this, the Universe will reward you with the abundant life that is already yours... even if you cannot yet see it.

Be slow to speak and don’t speak at all unless it lifts up the person you are talking to or about.

Listen to what people are saying. Really listen on purpose, and you will gain a better understanding of where they are coming from. Remember that everyone has experiences, and those experiences helped to shape them into the person that they are. You may not agree with them and that is ok -- just don’t judge them. Everyone is equal in God’s eyes and they should also be equal in our eyes -- no one is any better than anyone else.

Even if you are in a disagreement with someone or even if they have hurt you, put yourself in their shoes and try to forgive them. Show patience and give grace. I assure you that all of heaven will stop and take notice that you actually put Christ’s teachings into practice.

Help an old person; smile at a stranger; bless the children you meet; be vulnerable -- now I didn’t say be weak. There is a difference. If you open your heart, you may get hurt, Jesus did, but you will grow and expand in ways that will make you a better person. Be humble. Thank God always and at all times with a truly grateful heart. You have much to be thankful for.

Be yourself. Don’t be something that is false and never be arrogant or mean. You know how to treat people, so remember that as your world begins to open up before you. You are going to meet lots of different kinds of people, and although you are a natural leader, college life will present you with a new set of challenges.

Son, you are the apple of my eye and such a powerful source of joy for me that even as I fumble to write these words my heart feels like it will burst. It is not easy to express these types of feelings because they are so very real and so deep.

I have never tried to influence you to be anyone other than Brandon. I believe it is an error for a father to put such pressure on their son. What you are today is certainly the answer to millions of prayers, but I especially want you to know that you are the fulfillment of all my hopes and dreams, and I am always here for you. You will never be so far away that I would not move heaven and earth to come to your aid.

Receive, once more, the blessing of your earthly father with complete assurance that I merely reflect the love of your eternal and perfect Father. It is because he loves me so much that he has allowed me to serve you in this way at this time. I am forever grateful.

May the sun be always on your beautiful face, with the wind of Love at your back. As you follow your dreams, may the road rise up to meet you and carry you to the greatest heights of completion. You deserve nothing less.

I love you.

Dad

Dark Night of the Soul

The phrase brings haunting imagery to mind, but it doesn't have to. It is so very descriptive of how many of my friends are experiencing life right now, but it has Hope as its intended result.

I have been noticing the intensity of the dark times for several years now and it would seem that they are not only inevitable, they are an indication of something Good and True emerging.

Hope.

Hope is the last thing some of us know about lately, but it remains nonetheless. We are all, each of us, hoping for something better for ourselves, and the Dark Night syndrome, although excruciating, is a clear sign that Light is in our immediate future. It is this absence from the Light that allows us time to refocus our eyes; to reevaluate our priorities; and to ultimately re-present ourselves to the world.

I have also noticed that these times are less frequent, but more powerful in their effects. This is encouraging for me as it tells me that I am learning to maneuver through the darkness more efficiently. I am more familiar with the Hope that springs forth in the aftermath, and that provides energy to endure.

My friends, these are strange and difficult days to be sure. At the same time, it is an unfolding of possibilities if we are aware of it. We are never alone in the darkness even though we sometimes forget under the weight of our circumstances and pain. And when we come out on the other side into the Light, we realize that we were never, ever left alone.

I am never alone.

Choose for yourself this day to see your situation as hopeful. It may not truly be at this moment, but it will be. You and I can rest in the peace of that certainty. Inner peace will be our experience sooner than later when we see our path for what it is:

A journey of reacquainting ourselves with the Source of Life.

God is real. Love is the proof. And Dark Nights are lovingly designed to propel us out of fear and into Peace.

I love you. -- jb

Family Ties and Fine Porcelain

For many of us there comes a time when our friends scatter, and there is that inescapable feeling of abandonment. We sometimes use the term fair-weather friend in reference to people like that, but whatever we chooses to call them, I don't believe most individuals intentionally mean to cause pain in doing this. So let's be honest; it just happens. And when it does, it is very comforting that our family is there to help replace the hurt with uplifting support and acceptance. When circumstances seems to turn against us, family ties undergird us with all we need to get back to joy:

Love.

It is true that not all of us have this kind of support when we need it most because we just don't have any family. While this situation does exist I believe that God provides alternatives. I have had the honor of being a surrogate family member, and it was one of the highest honors of my life. If you ever find yourself in any situation that provides you that privilege, take it. You being offered to that person, as a form of family, in love, by Love ItSelf is a beautiful thing.

Mr. Glynn

I have written about my dear friend Mr. Glynn Luckie Mosley who recently died. His wife Opal collected porcelain figurines, and he went to the ends of the earth in search of the ones she would ask him to find for her. One or two were exquisite and some weren't even very expensive. They just couldn't be shipped from where they originated.

He Went Anyway.

I observed many similar acts of devotion, and when she died he gracefully allowed me into his then very private and isolated world, and he stole my heart. I weep as I write remembering I got to say, see-ya-later to one of my best friends. When I was told he would not respond as the result of a coma he suddenly fell into from a simple stint procedure, I walked in the room and he began to try and talk to me. He reached for me... I got to hug him, and it was the last time I got to do that. He died the next morning.

What's Next?

My friends, it is a different time we live in. People are moving in and out of each other's lives at record speeds. Some say it's another sign of change. What I know is that for every friend that leaves you, there is another waiting to enter your life and take you to the next level. If you're really lucky this new friend may turn out to be the one you've been looking for your whole life.

Ponder It. Things Change.

So when change enters your life, make the effort to greet it like an old friend. Don't resist; that just creates repetition of circumstances. Instead receive it like a gift, maybe a fine porcelain figurine. Exquisite in craftsmanship, breathtaking to behold as the hands that created it must have surely known that it was to be this way :)

God bless those without family ties, as well as those friends who stand and remain no matter what may come. And God bless us all as we continue on in our journey of discovery. Don't fight the things you can't control. Just roll with it Baby. Rest in the beingness of it all, and quit trying to do so much. Do what you can, but let the rest go. There is freedom in that. I love you!

Peace for your weekend, spend it with your family and friends. And may you always have Love in your life. Love is real.

jb